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Neither Ball Nor Pitch

01.07.2010 10:38

I know, I deserve to be lynched for not writing about it for so long but I hoped they lacked practice for four years and would improve in the end at least a little bit! "Don't wait in vain" our sports commentator thought and improved the quality of their work the way the Italy team advanced its onrushing game and the French team - the game in general. That's really too much!

Would be bearable if it were first case, one would close its eyes if it were the first commentator or there would be lack of practice.

But under the circumstances I would not close my eyes even if were missing both of them.

When a commentator of an older generation (I would refrain from naming him) would be on live air (records and good times were then missing) announcing: "today we have two Tengizes (Georgian male name) on the pitch - Tengiz Sulakvelidze and Nukri Kakilashvili" we would laugh and regretfully long for Kote Makharadze and Erosi Manjgaladze...

For a few minutes I am gonna draw your attention to these two people - first of all I haven't seen the reports commented by them, have just seen the records and secondly I failed to see the Georgian football in bloom, so I think these two people had luck commenting on the matches of our victory and Georgians loved Kote and Erosi two times more since their voices would inform of victory.

So please ahead of discussing current commentators take into account that these ones haven't seen any of our victories let alone anchoring it. So let's have some pity on them and, citing the "first swallow" of football, "let's kick with half might!"

At the very beginning of the world championship Georgian sports commentators' readiness for the Mundial evident.

I don't mean those well-known and habitual mistakes such as changing the footballer's family name.

Things are far more serious here.

Thank God it's the 21st century now, in medieval centuries one of the GPB sports commentators would have been definitely sent to a fire of inquisition for a false prophecy.

Everyone makes forecasts but predicting Wayne Rooney's goal in the 23rd minute of the match against Germany and the significance of this goal for the game is far closer to astrology than sport.

In general the special stakes at the bookmakers is another issue - remarkable imagination is needed to think of one. One should be no less gifted to make a stake whether a footballer's head is going to be broken on a fixed minute of the match and whether the referee is going to notice it.

There is an interesting statistics - in the policy makers' colloquial terminology every 14th word is "me."

I am not aware whether there is any official statistics for that but every fourth word of the second GPB First Channel commentator is an "episode."

Yes, a football match is obviously made up of episodes but there are substitutes found in the blessed Georgian language. At least once the astounding goals by Messi can be given a different evaluation instead of a "logically completed interesting episode."

But the weirdest, and one can say, even offensive was the worst kind of verbal abuse against the France Coach Raymond Domenech by one of the Georgian commentators.

Frankly speaking I was puzzled - it was embarrassing, but was not sure who to be ashamed for - Raymond Domenech or the commentator.

I know foreign commentators too afford themselves to criticize coaches, footballers or referees of other countries but...

I would like to remind you commentators are paid no less than the referees criticized by them and moreover, when publicly criticizing something belonging to another yours should be at least half worth of it.

In the last world championship Domenech brough his team to the final, and I'd better say thing about the Georgia team - this topic is either discussed in a good way or never chatted about.

When an Italian commentator is criticizing Domenech he knows that the Italy team has won world cup several times and moreover Italy has got the coaches and comparing Domenech with them would be just funny...

What have we got?

We have got "interesting episodes" from the history of Georgian football which, unfortunately, was not than called as Georgian football.

Now it has got the name but there is no more Georgian football...

When we had football we had no name, when we gained name we are missing football... an indisputably interesting episode!

So if we can't take care of our own football criticizing French coach sounds ridiculous from the lips our commentators - I think so, not sure...

See you!







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